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Thursday, March 15, 2012

Men to boys

The male gender has been a perennial problem for most of the female populace (Am sure they'd claim that they have had their share of problems with the female counterpart hahaha). I think this is what makes life very interesting, don't you think? :)  Well, happily married people are not excused from such fate. In the first place, before getting married, couples have had their own fair share of heartbreak and "dramatic" episodes in the past.

Am sure the male population would not agree, but it has been proven scientifically that most women, mature earlier (reasoning wise) as compared to their male counterpart. Why am I suddenly talking about this timeless struggle between the sexes? I am reminded of such because of friends who are going through their own real-life "teleserye". Am not an expert on this field, but one does not have to be an expert on such. I can only share my thoughts, my own opinion. I may be wrong, But let me clarify that this is my own opinion, the result of my "thought bubbles". Please don't persecute me ;P

Men who refuse to stay in a monogamous relationship probably grew up lacking in the right amount of love. These are boys who probably grew up in an environment where love was not constant, where love was held back. Hence, they grow up from boys to men to boys again. By going from one relationship to another, they are assured of constant love. The kind of feeling that these men feel they'd achieve if they go philandering in the hope that this time, such love would patch their gaping childhood wounds.Such men are immature and will probably remain that way until they are old and wrinkled. And women who stay in such a relationship will never be happy unless she shuts her eyes and love her man despite of this frailty.

photo borrowed from
professionallifecoach.org 
Men who uses emotional blackmail, perhaps grew up in an environment where, as boys, have been subjected to the same kind of treatment. They begin using such method to get what they want, subdue their partners, or feel on top of a particular situation. Emotional blackmail can be in the form of grave threats (if you leave, I will kill myself; you will never see me again, you will never see me or your children again, or I will tell my mom... hehehe). Or it can also be in the form of expensive gifts (that is if you are in a relationship with a rich guy).

Men who reckon their women as punching bags (both emotional and physical), are one of the worst kind. They have no concern at all for their partners! Seeing them bloodied up probably excites them even more. It makes them feel more "macho" ... on top of the world (imagine my eyes rolling in disbelief).They have the least respect for women and yet they are master manipulators, with their sweet tongue-in-cheek and sugar-coated promises not to do it again. I know a couple of men who fits the description rather perfectly well!. Let me direct you to their  FB page....hahaha  That got your attention yeah?!  Well, men like these are not men at all but little boys who are really scared. And since they probably grew up in an environment where verbal and physical abuse was served daily, then expect them to match up to their parent's expectation or even go beyond. Otherwise, they are probably heavy drug users!

This is just a few and yet there are many type of prowlers out there ready to pounce on an unsuspecting victim. So always be on guard. But since Love is so blind most times, some women fall prey to these kinds of men! We can't really blame love nor the women who fall in love with men who belong to such category! But hey, we have a choice right? And like many decisions that we often have to make, we must be armed to make  healthy choices. Think self-respect! Some may have grown up in a house where self-respect is scarce, but at the end of the day, it's your body, your future, everything about you that matters. Making the right decision matters! If you feel that a current relationship is always on edge...walk away! You're better off without a man who makes you feel less than you probably think you are. Don't let that kind of man dictate who you are nor the kind of person that you can still be! Quoting my sister again, "NO ONE can put a price tag on you, only You can!" And to add, that you have such sovereign power to tag yourself expensively! You deserve someone so much better!

If your parents are forcing you to marry despite the fact that you are in an unhappy relationship; think twice! Or don't think at all. Just walk away rather than waste your life on someone who will only keep on abusing you. Your parents will not be the ones who will live with this man for the rest of their lives. It is you who will do so. And when they are long gone, what can they do to help you get out of it? If you're gonna live, live it right. Live life with the kind of privileged freedom that every one of us deserves. Jesus did not give up His life, for us to give up on ourselves! Give justice to His ultimate sacrifice! Don't enter into a relationship just because you're lonely, or pressured to be on one. Let fate lead you to each other! And constantly pray for the right partner. Have a hefty serving of self-respect  because we all deserve nothing less!

I saw this power control wheel which I think is quite helpful in finding out if you are in an abusive relationship yourself. But it's best if you visit their website ~ Lindsey Anne Burke.

"There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most telling sign is fear of your partner. If you feel like you have to constantly walk on eggshells around your partner, constantly watching what you say and do in order to avoid a blow-up, chances are your relationship is unhealthy and abusive." ~ Anonymous ~



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