FB is the place to be or not

borrowed image from trevordixon.co

I've once said that the social networking site, FB or Facebook has helped me so much in finding and reconnecting with long lost friends and relatives. While this is true, most will notice that FB has also been made into a battleground of sorts where some people bashed others and destroy their good name. Honestly, I may have clicked a few likes and even commented on posts that points out a particular truth. Am not saying I'm perfect because I'm not, but there has been some realizations over time... So, I came up with the following which is, once more, a product of my thought bubbles..

"Let Facebook be a venue to inspire people, to reconnect with long lost friends and relatives, to rejoice a milestone or the successes of friends, and even a place to promote one's craft. All in the spirit of good will.

On the other hand....

Let it NOT be a venue to damage spirits by destructive criticism(s), a place to wash your dirty laundry, to crush bridges, to lambaste, to promote havoc and wreck other people's lives.

Always remember that to be struck by a double-edged sword is better than to be destroyed by a double-edged tongue! For wound heals almost immediately, while painful words will always reverberate in one's mind even as you have forgiven the person who has spoken such."

Of FB, fries and coke floats among other things

FB has made reuniting possible, like most of us, I will always be thankful that a Mark Zuckerberg came up with this brilliant idea! I was a friendster fan before anything else but it was not good enough for me. And I guess during that time Friendster, seemed to be.... well, more friendly? For awhile my FB profile picture was that of Angel Locsin's and I gained FB friends because of her sexy picture. :)  

That is FB's bright side, the other side of the coin is that if someone wants to block you then whatever you do, you won't be able to get into the nitty gritty detail of the person you'd like to connect with. But am fine with that. Because there are people you don't really feel comf'table with to be part of your fb friends.  But this article is not about FB ~ it's about friends...friends I've lost and friends I've found. Six years ago (same age as my youngest son), I lost a very special friend. Hard to forget that, since my son is a reminder of that particular friendship-gone-awry. It was a misunderstanding that no one really understands (sounds redundant right?).  I guess she feels that I've betrayed her. Two sides of the coin, I feel she blamed me for her loss.

How does one feel when a friend is lost? It feels as if a limb has been cut off from your body... Feels like that last piece of Fries you were just about to dunk into your large Coke float. Honestly, losing a friend sucks! But it's not the fact of losing one that does, what sucks more is the reason why you've lost that friend. I've never really lost a friend before and if I had, it was not because of anything else except probably distance, transferring to another place or what have you (until about 6 years ago). I felt terrible. Terrible for her and terrible for me and my friends. Again 2 sides of the coin. Like "friends fries" and "coke bloats". I'm not going into any of the sordid details though. The fact of the matter is that, it is done and over with. My 3 other friends and I who used to complete our circle are no longer welcome. We've been deleted. Everything else has gone kaput! Finito! But as I've told her she may have closed her doors on us, but we've left our windows wide open. She's said her "Adieu" to which my reply was "Au Revoir." And as I keep saying distance should never matter, time spent should never matter. Reuniting after such a long time, your tune should remain the same, true friendship should endure. One cannot put a price tag on friendship, we cannot blame them for not being there for us. We cannot count the times we have been put down by our friends. Whatever we do in life is our choice. Near or far, our friends are only there to support or contradict us. But at the end of the day, we make our own choices. If you have not been honest to your friends, how in hell can you expect your friends to understand what you are going through, what you've been through, and what you continue to go through?  "Friendship must never be buried under the weight of misunderstanding" ~ Sri Chinmoy ~  I still believe that God would not have wanted friendships to end this way. Which is why, my understanding of friendship is something that I have never enclosed in a box chock-full of expectations.

"We all lose friends...we lose them in death, to distance, and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on."        ~ Amy Marie Walz ~ 

In the meantime, this year amidst some personal setbacks, have turned out well for people like me who have been meaning to reunite. Ten years ago was the last time I saw one of my dearest male friends. I've spent years searching for him online, which has proven futile since he's not a fan of the computer age. The time we spent together during my vacation was short but sweet. Again, knowing that a long lost friend is fine is the best news always. The ten year gap in between was not a deterrent to our friendship. Life must go on. The years in between each absence should not count. What should always matter is we've remained the best of friends all through our life's ups and downs. I've reunited with more friends since...  this time through FB. Indeed, technology has brought more meaning to friendships ~ long lost, now found.

The start of my "own" New Year

January 1, 2012 for me is a memory that I'd rather forget. While everybody was blowing their New Year horns, I was blowing my nose. Hence, I am starting my New Year this 1st of March ~ in this way, it will be a new beginning for me. I have lamented enough. I went through the phase of coping with feelings of shame, self-pity, anger, self-reproach, and have begun questioning my life purpose. Such feelings led me to be lethargic, I went deeper into my shell. For awhile I became an introvert...not wanting to see or talk to well meaning friends. I deactivated my FB, and bombarded my twitter account with quotes that were similar to how I felt. Whenever we went out to buy a few stuff in the nearby store, I always felt nauseous and badly wanted to go back home. Home and my bed were my only solace...the only place I felt safe. I went through the whole nine yards!

It was pretty bad for me. But it was my daughter who suffered most from my pathetic state. I was like a zombie going through my daily routine without a thought. And when triggered???, I was really piqued!  It was tough to hide what I was going through from my husband (of course). But all throughout, my loving husband held my hand and was able to convince me to spill the beans. I was not really comfortable sharing my thoughts with him, most especially after all he's witnessed on that particular New year morning. You see. I've always tried my darnedest to be perfect for the love of my life. He deserves only the best part of me. So, for him to hear and see stuff, was for me, very disquieting.

But I've pondered and wondered and that's over and gone. All through such a trying time, I only had my rosary and my husband's hands to hold. Then the afterglow...this gave me a glimpse of life's perfection. More things to look forward to. A loving family...a responsible, faithful, wonderful and caring husband by my side...wonderful children...they are my reason to live. The past should not hold me. And to quote part of the message sent to me by my youngest sister ~ "...never let anyone put a price tag on you. Only YOU can. Only YOU should. Not even families are given such a right. Or even more correct. ONLY GOD CAN put a price tag on you -- being the giver of our life, being our Creator who made us in His image..."

I will always be thankful to have come from a family with both parents present from day 1, with crazy but loving sisters. In this life, no one, not even families are perfect but we learn. We learn from how we were treated as individuals and use such experience to be a better person...a better wife...a better mother.

I've listed down my objectives for this year:

1. Continue praying. Teach my children how to pray from the heart.

2. Love my husband even more.

3. Stay fit.

4. Spread happiness and positivity by smiliing more, loving more and not sweating the small stuff.

(I've actually posted a sign outside our door that says: "Smile! Bawal sa loob ng bahay ang nakasimangot!" in English, "Smile! Frowning inside the house is prohibited")

5. Encourage more. Complain less. 

6. Be fair and forgiving.

7. Be patient.

8. Be humble.

9. No name calling. No comparing. Avoid demeaning. (Children will always remember what you think of them)

10. Be an inspiration to my family and to other people.

I'm not perfect, I know. But my God is. He will be my constant inspiration to be better.

"The most sacred place dwells within our heart, where dreams are born and secrets sleep, a mystical refuge of darkness and light, fear and conquest, adventure and discovery, challenge and transformation. Our heart speaks for our soul every moment while we are alive. Listen... as the whispering beat repeats: be...gin, be...gin, be...gin. It's really that simple. Just begin... again." ~ Royce Addington ~