Of surprise birthdays, family, and everything unspoken

My mother celebrated her Platinum Jubilee this year and we are just so elated that she has reached another milestone! After 6 heart attacks, she is still in full swing and just celebrating life the way it should be. She had 3 celebrations, 1 done in our family home, the other a surprised visit from my aunt (her only sister), and the most recent, another surprise birthday party spearheaded by her youngest brother who is currently abroad. Boy! Was she happy to have been in the midst of relatives! Needless to say, her most recent celebration is not only to celebrate her birthday but a celebration of family, forgiveness, reconciliation. 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” 
― Mahatma Gandhi, All Men are Brothers: Autobiographical Reflections

When forgiveness is real in the hearts of the giver and the receiver, then there is real peace. I would like to thank my cousins, my nieces and nephews, my aunts and uncles for coming! 

I'll never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family, together, all of us laughing and talking, loving and understanding, not looking at the past but only to the future.

LaToya Jackson

Indira Gandhi, once said that "Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave", I am glad to be in the midst of people with like minds. Because family is everything! And that should always matter! So let me share with you something I came across online...

DECIDE TO FORGIVE

Decide to forgive

For resentment is negative

Resentment is poisonous

Resentment diminishes and devours the self.

Be the first to forgive,

To smile and to take the first step,

And you will see happiness bloom

On the face of your human brother or sister.

Be always the first

Do not wait for others to forgive

For by forgiving

You become the master of fate

The fashioner of life

The doer of miracles.

To forgive is the highest

Most beautiful form of love.

In return you will receive

Untold peace and happiness. Here is the program for achieving a truly forgiving heart:

Sunday: Forgive yourself.

Monday: Forgive your family.

Tuesday: Forgive your friends and associates.

Wednesday: Forgive across economic lines within your own nation.

Thursday: Forgive across cultural lines within your own nation.

Friday: Forgive across political lines within your own nation.

Saturday: Forgive other nations.

Musings on a bake night

It's funny but I remember being told by someone a couple of years back that we are basically animals (having shared with me her life story).  And it's because of this clouded justification, that she seems to think people can sleep with whomever they fancy. Because in her mind...we are animals. I wanted to disagree but I was not in the mood to question her. I wanted to say that we are indeed animals but of the highest form. Because by  being so, we are able to question, we are able to reason out, we are able to choose and think. Don't get me wrong I'm not perfect but having a family of my own, I understand better where one should draw the line. 

Saudi Arabia has made me realise the danger of leaving one's family behind for greener pastures. And it's sad that a lot of families become vulnerable by this separation hence, would either break the husband or the wife. And "sadder" is the fact that the children will always be the one to suffer the most.  It's just such a blessing that my husband was hired by a company that offers a family package which makes being together possible.

You'd be surprised that even families who are already here have managed to unhinged from each other...there's a sudden disconnection. The next thing you know, one of them is playing single. This is a wife's, a husband's or a child's greatest fear. 

I think this is global, it does not happen "culturally" and affects everybody else the same way. I agree, getting married and having children does not come with a user's manual but everything is instinctive. It's supposed to be an integral part of human nature. And though there would be times that we fall, we're supposed to stand up and do what is right.

I keep on saying that the reason we go abroad is for our family but along the way, the terrible truth  is that, some lose their perspective.  I believe in the sanctity of marriage and of putting one's family above all else. Luckily, my husband and I share this principle and we live by it. Though the roads can be rough, our family should always be our fortress. And the Lord our rock! 

So to all the families out there, hold on and hold tight. And remember that...

Our Family is a circle of strength and love

With every birth and every union, the circle grows.

Every joy shared adds more Love..

Every crisis faced together makes the circle grow stronger.

~ Anon. ~

This is how families should be...

The year that was...365 days of KSA!

It seems like only yesterday when I was so worried and sick of waiting for all our documents to go through, when I would ply the route going to NSO, Manila City hall, Las Pinas City hall, DFA, and the travel agency assigned to take care of our visas. All the hits and misses, all the times that my parents, children and I were held in suspense when only my passport and visa was left and held up at the Saudi Embassy. The times that I felt so utterly miserable because my children and I have been waiting for months to be with my husband. In my mind, I can still recall how I felt so... so... soooo relieved to have accomplished such a herculean task from the time that I resigned from my job at HSBC to the time that I was finally able to get all our passports and visas done.

That was a year ago. It was October 20, 2010 when my parents, sisters and loving nanny accompanied me and my children to the airport. We were all excited. My kids were just plain excited they could not wait to be with their father. My parents, sisters and nanny were all excited for us yet sad that we will be leaving them behind.  I remember feeling a wave of emotion that switched from excitement, apprehension, sadness and back. I felt excited because we'd finally be with my husband after such a long wait; apprehension because I didn't quite know what kind of life to expect in Saudi Arabia. Also to add to the fact that unlike in the past, it was the first time I'd be travelling  to another country with kids in tow. I also felt sad to be leaving my parents, sisters and my children's nanny behind.  But overall I just felt good and very thankful that the "hurdles had been hurdled." Indeed everything went according to His plans, not mine nor my husband's and that in itself dismissed all the anxieties I felt while my children and I pushed our way towards the waiting lounge.

Now one year is over, truly time flies and to quote what a friend of mine told me just a couple of days ago "Time flies when you're enjoying what you do." Indeed I do. From being an HR assistant to a  full time mom, I can say there are no regrets. I don't feel disconcerted being without a corporate career or something akin to what I used to have back home. The job I gave up in the Philippines and the one here will always be part of my Curriculum vitae, but my life as a full time mom and wife will forever be etched in my children's and my husband's heart and mind. 

So today we celebrate simply because we survived our first year as a family in this country. We were able to beat the odds! This first year was our "make or break" year and thanfully because of this, we know the following years will be a breeze. Our life here is far from perfect but what really counts is the fact that we are all together. Certainly there is strength in numbers.

Happy first year to us! 

Post Script:
To families who wishes, are planning or have just been reunited with their loved ones abroad; if you are in the advantage of being able to land a job do so. If not, do something that interests you...make that hobby of yours the start of something big. Let those creative juices run wild! Be the master of your own destiny!