Where the heart is

I re-posted an article that I wrote February of last year (from my Diary of a Call center mom) because I was reminded of it while watching the evening news. It seems that most of the news we get to watch these days is fraught with violence. Topics from children committing crimes or being used to commit crimes, the number of people committing suicide, erring families, child abuse, to battered women.. The list is endless and very disturbing that sometimes I'd rather not watch the news on the telly at all.

It's because of such news that I sometimes ask myself if my husband and I are bringing up our children the right way. Perhaps we should all take another look at our children as news such as these show that families all over the world are suffering from "internal bleeding." We should always ask ourselves the following questions: 

1) Are we showing them enough love?

2) Are we spending quality time with them? 

3) Are we listening closely to what they are saying or are tying to say? 

4) Are we spoiling them too much? 

5) Are we hurting them physically and emotionally? 

6) Do we respect their right to be heard?

7) Are we good role models that they can emulate?

8) Have we hugged them lately?

9) Are we comfortable in telling them the words "I love you"

10) Have we blamed them for our failures?

For now I have only 10 as these are the only ones I can think of at the moment. We should start healing our families by being there for them not only physically. Bear in mind that a dysfunctional child is the fruit of dysfunctional parents, who came from a dysfunctional family. (please excuse my redundancy) This is probably of no surprise because even the bible contains stories of  such brokenness. Remember Cain and Abel?, The Prodigal son? and, Joseph and his brothers to name a few? 

Are families around the world so severed?  We all know that being a parent is not easy but we took that responsibility in our hands, we claimed that responsibility as soon as we said "I do." Hence, we are expected to carry on with that promise. We build our family and bring our children up in the premise that they will be positive contributors to the world.

It is important to find that connection again and it's my belief that the world will be worry-free if only we re-learn to value our family. Afterall, home is where the heart is.

Musings on a bake night

It's funny but I remember being told by someone a couple of years back that we are basically animals (having shared with me her life story).  And it's because of this clouded justification, that she seems to think people can sleep with whomever they fancy. Because in her mind...we are animals. I wanted to disagree but I was not in the mood to question her. I wanted to say that we are indeed animals but of the highest form. Because by  being so, we are able to question, we are able to reason out, we are able to choose and think. Don't get me wrong I'm not perfect but having a family of my own, I understand better where one should draw the line. 

Saudi Arabia has made me realise the danger of leaving one's family behind for greener pastures. And it's sad that a lot of families become vulnerable by this separation hence, would either break the husband or the wife. And "sadder" is the fact that the children will always be the one to suffer the most.  It's just such a blessing that my husband was hired by a company that offers a family package which makes being together possible.

You'd be surprised that even families who are already here have managed to unhinged from each other...there's a sudden disconnection. The next thing you know, one of them is playing single. This is a wife's, a husband's or a child's greatest fear. 

I think this is global, it does not happen "culturally" and affects everybody else the same way. I agree, getting married and having children does not come with a user's manual but everything is instinctive. It's supposed to be an integral part of human nature. And though there would be times that we fall, we're supposed to stand up and do what is right.

I keep on saying that the reason we go abroad is for our family but along the way, the terrible truth  is that, some lose their perspective.  I believe in the sanctity of marriage and of putting one's family above all else. Luckily, my husband and I share this principle and we live by it. Though the roads can be rough, our family should always be our fortress. And the Lord our rock! 

So to all the families out there, hold on and hold tight. And remember that...

Our Family is a circle of strength and love

With every birth and every union, the circle grows.

Every joy shared adds more Love..

Every crisis faced together makes the circle grow stronger.

~ Anon. ~

This is how families should be...

The year that was...365 days of KSA!

It seems like only yesterday when I was so worried and sick of waiting for all our documents to go through, when I would ply the route going to NSO, Manila City hall, Las Pinas City hall, DFA, and the travel agency assigned to take care of our visas. All the hits and misses, all the times that my parents, children and I were held in suspense when only my passport and visa was left and held up at the Saudi Embassy. The times that I felt so utterly miserable because my children and I have been waiting for months to be with my husband. In my mind, I can still recall how I felt so... so... soooo relieved to have accomplished such a herculean task from the time that I resigned from my job at HSBC to the time that I was finally able to get all our passports and visas done.

That was a year ago. It was October 20, 2010 when my parents, sisters and loving nanny accompanied me and my children to the airport. We were all excited. My kids were just plain excited they could not wait to be with their father. My parents, sisters and nanny were all excited for us yet sad that we will be leaving them behind.  I remember feeling a wave of emotion that switched from excitement, apprehension, sadness and back. I felt excited because we'd finally be with my husband after such a long wait; apprehension because I didn't quite know what kind of life to expect in Saudi Arabia. Also to add to the fact that unlike in the past, it was the first time I'd be travelling  to another country with kids in tow. I also felt sad to be leaving my parents, sisters and my children's nanny behind.  But overall I just felt good and very thankful that the "hurdles had been hurdled." Indeed everything went according to His plans, not mine nor my husband's and that in itself dismissed all the anxieties I felt while my children and I pushed our way towards the waiting lounge.

Now one year is over, truly time flies and to quote what a friend of mine told me just a couple of days ago "Time flies when you're enjoying what you do." Indeed I do. From being an HR assistant to a  full time mom, I can say there are no regrets. I don't feel disconcerted being without a corporate career or something akin to what I used to have back home. The job I gave up in the Philippines and the one here will always be part of my Curriculum vitae, but my life as a full time mom and wife will forever be etched in my children's and my husband's heart and mind. 

So today we celebrate simply because we survived our first year as a family in this country. We were able to beat the odds! This first year was our "make or break" year and thanfully because of this, we know the following years will be a breeze. Our life here is far from perfect but what really counts is the fact that we are all together. Certainly there is strength in numbers.

Happy first year to us! 

Post Script:
To families who wishes, are planning or have just been reunited with their loved ones abroad; if you are in the advantage of being able to land a job do so. If not, do something that interests you...make that hobby of yours the start of something big. Let those creative juices run wild! Be the master of your own destiny!