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Sunday, May 22, 2016

On days I feel kind of like this




I want to color my hair green wear it short and cropped. I want to walk a mile and meet the sun as it rises. I want to listen to the stories of old, hear a baby's soft laughter, hold the hand of a child. I want to sit on the sand watch the moon rise as the tide rushes forward. There is nothing better than a simple life and green colored hair.







Friday, May 13, 2016

For Better or for Worse...

Each wedding has it's own beauty and magic. And I am glad my family and I got to attend one. Last week my husband, youngest son, and I were blessed to witness the wedding of very good friends.  And it was  not surprising that the general feeling that day was of "thankfulness". The good vibe going around was of happiness that at last each one found each other. 

I guess the good feeling swept over me that when my husband and I got home, there was this fountain of ideas that was just wanting to get out and translate into words. So, there! I have come up with some stuff that I want to share with all the bride and groom all over the world to understand and think about.

To all the brides:

I would like to say, expect that your life will be a lot different from what it used to be. Your days will no longer be for you alone, but for your husband as well and I assure you that you will enjoy each and every single day with him.  Your nights would no longer be alone but with that one person your soul has been searching for. And I tell you, your nights will be filled with reassuring hugs and wonderful bliss! When you wake up the first thing that you would see is your future with him and that alone will make you want to get up and prepare him breakfast every day.


To all the grooms:

In the same manner that your “ex-girlfriend, now-wife’s” life will be, then that would true for you as well. Your mornings will find you beside that one person who will make you whole. That one person with whom you can start a family with and feel complete, more than ever. That one person who, will always be there for you no matter what. Your breakfast will  no longer be just a grab of bite at a nearby fast food store but something made out of love. And like your bride, your nights will be filled with loving kisses, and mushy hugs.


To both:

But that will not always be the case. There will be times when you will both disagree on things. It could be small and petty, while some would be really big ones. You will feel alone and disheartened but you know deep in your heart that no matter what, you will always be there for your better half. There will be times when you’d feel the need for assurance and it may or may not be given to you. Not because you love each other less but because your individual minds do not really function in the same way. Be understanding of each other’s weaknesses. Acknowledge that even if you are one in spirit, you are still unique individuals and that should always be a point of reference. Remember, it is that very distinct quality that drew you to each other! Always treat each day as new! Do not exchange your gadgets for each other’s companionship. Communicate! Ask each other how their day went. Tell each other how your day was. Tell each other how you’ve missed them. No! It’s not OA to do so if you think of every gesture as something done out of love. Do not think that one is better than the other. Both of you are! Do not downplay what your partner can do! Be proud of what each of you can do. Be each other’s consultant. Reach a decision which both of you are sure of doing. Listen to each other’s stories. When one fails, let the other lift him/her up. Be proud of your spouse! Keeping your life private is different from letting the other side of your world know that you are proud of them. Be a good friend to others but never allow your friendship to jeopardize your marriage. Do not have casual lunch out or dinners alone with the opposite sex even if you say that you are just friends. You are putting yourselves and your relationship with your partner at risk. Perhaps some of you would disagree but most infidelities started on casual grounds. Respect your partner’s feelings. If you know that your action will be something that would hurt your spouse, then just don’t! It’s that simple. Do not start lying to each other, white lies are still lies.  To the man of the house be always the first one to understand. Women are complex and wives are probably even more abstruse. But remember, they will also always be the first one to try to understand you. To the queen of the house, (and I am telling this to myself), do not lose your individuality but at the same time be the woman your husband can always lean on. Put good food on the table. Pray and make God the center of your marriage! Honor Him for He made your love story!

Before getting married you each had a vision... a goal… a dream you want to put into realization. Marriage should not be a hindrance to your dreams but expect some changes that would allow you and your spouse to get down on it together. Support each other’s dreams but make sure that the risk you are about to take together are calculated risks with minimal setbacks. 

You will have kids and it is normal of course, for couples to want to build their own family. Your children will be a reflection of you. Make sure you are living examples of what you want them to be and how you want them to act. But remember no family is perfect so be forgiving of each other’s imperfections yet strive to be better for the Lord.

Never stop loving each other! Never stop the romance! Feed your marriage with passion, never stop flirting with each other! Romance and passion is not only for the young! 

So to Rex and Tin, thank you for inspiring me to start my blog again. I know I won't be able to update as often but for me this is a good thing :)  Congratulations and Best wishes to both of you! Let me raise my glass to that! ... Cheers!








Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Of surprise birthdays, family, and everything unspoken

My mother celebrated her Platinum Jubilee this year and we are just so elated that she has reached another milestone! After 6 heart attacks, she is still in full swing and just celebrating life the way it should be. She had 3 celebrations, 1 done in our family home, the other a surprised visit from my aunt (her only sister), and the most recent, another surprise birthday party spearheaded by her youngest brother who is currently abroad. Boy! Was she happy to have been in the midst of relatives! Needless to say, her most recent celebration is not only to celebrate her birthday but a celebration of family, forgiveness, reconciliation. 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” 
― Mahatma GandhiAll Men are Brothers: Autobiographical Reflections


When forgiveness is real in the hearts of the giver and the receiver, then there is real peace. I would like to thank my cousins, my nieces and nephews, my aunts and uncles for coming! 


Indira Gandhi, once said that "Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave", I am glad to be in the midst of people with like minds. Because family is everything! And that should always matter! So let me share with you something I came across online...


DECIDE TO FORGIVE
Decide to forgive
For resentment is negative
Resentment is poisonous
Resentment diminishes and devours the self.
Be the first to forgive,
To smile and to take the first step,
And you will see happiness bloom
On the face of your human brother or sister.
Be always the first
Do not wait for others to forgive
For by forgiving
You become the master of fate
The fashioner of life
The doer of miracles.
To forgive is the highest
Most beautiful form of love.
In return you will receive
Untold peace and happiness. Here is the program for achieving a truly forgiving heart:
Sunday: Forgive yourself.
Monday: Forgive your family.
Tuesday: Forgive your friends and associates.
Wednesday: Forgive across economic lines within your own nation.
Thursday: Forgive across cultural lines within your own nation.
Friday: Forgive across political lines within your own nation.
Saturday: Forgive other nations.




Monday, September 15, 2014

Today she decides to wear a dress and fix her hair

My daughter, I guess, woke up on the right side of the bed. I was surprised to see her on the eve of her birthday in a dress and wearing a clip on her hair. I was so happy yet did not want to spoil the moment by joshing her about it. You see, my daughter and I are very much alike in a lot of things. The way our mind works is pitch-perfect! Her sense of humor, her spontaneity, her bursts of emotions, oh and I'd like to think that her artistic skills and singing voice came from me too (though her dad is so sure that those came from him). When I was her age, I never liked wearing floral dresses, for me wearing a shirt and a pair of jeans is always fine. And she is very much like me in that area. But today! Boy! Her dad and I were both pleasantly surprised! I guess our little lady is finally growing up! 

Now that you are (secret) years old, I want you to make this moment and the days and years to come the very best of your life! Put into good use the talents that the Lord has given you. You were given those talents for a greater purpose, use them wisely!

Happy Happy Birthday Ally! May you grow in grace! May you always be happy! May I be able to contribute only good memories into your childhood. And if there ever are some of them that were not so good, forgive me but always remember that today and tomorrow are here for us to be able to change bad memories into good ones. I love you darling baby girl!









Monday, June 16, 2014

Happy Father's day!



Many years ago I rendered a song in front of my father's colleagues and office friends on his retirement party. I sang "Wind beneath my wings", befitting for the very first man in my life who showered me and my siblings with love!

Quoting part of the song, 

"Did you ever know that you're my hero,
and everything I would like to be?

I can fly higher than an eagle,
'cause you are the wind beneath my wings."

Indeed you were our hero Papa...you still are!  You will always be our hero and now that we have kids of our own, am sure they see you as we do! 

Happy father's day Paps! We love you and every little piece of you that is in us! 









Monday, May 12, 2014

Motherhood...behind the curtains

“Mothers are all slightly insane.” - J.D. Salinger

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No one ever said that being a mother is easy because we are, after all human, before we are mothers. We laugh, we cry, we get angry, we get crazy, silly, and whatnot. We can be at our strongest or at our weakest where our family is concerned. And crazy as a mad hatter when our husband become as helpless as our kids. We are not only a mother to our kids but become mothers to our husband and other family members as well. 

" telling me to be happy: "Henry, smile! why don't you ever smile?"
and then she would smile, to show me how, and 
it was the saddest smile I ever saw” - Charles Bukovski

No one will ever notice our silent cry for help, nor notice the sadness in our eyes. No one will ever ask how our day went, or how we feel, or what we want to do over the weekend, surprises will be a thing in the past. But we will often hear them complain about their food, where their stuff are, why they have to help do the chores, why they can't go places when their friends are able to. 

"Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did - that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that - a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.” - Debra Ginsberg

 No one will ever be able to read the mind of a mother unless it's a daughter who has seen the same pain, or a son who wants to protect his mother, or a husband who would put his wife on a pedestal above everybody else. A mother's heart is so complex that it could reach through every child's joy and pain, through their triumphs and failures, through their laughter and tears, through life's confusion and everything in between. And so it is true, the only time we can understand our mother is when we become mothers ourselves.

“In the book Soldiers on the Home Front,
 I was greatly struck by the fact that
 in childbirth alone, women commonly suffer more pain, 
illness and misery than any war hero ever does. 
And what's her reward for enduring all that pain? 
She gets pushed aside when she's disfigured by birth
her children soon leave, hear beauty is gone. 
Women, who struggle and suffer pain to ensure the continuation of the human race, 
make much tougher and more courageous soldiers 
than all those big-mouthed freedom-fighting heroes put together.” - Anne Frank

No one can ever understand what goes through the mind of a mother but it will definitely take children who have gone the same road and a very supportive husband to stand as her pillar all throughout her journey as mothers to their kids.

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Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Happy Birthday Alloy!

No matter how tall they get, no matter the age, our children will always be our children. Every birthday celebrated is a badge of honor on our shoulders. And one thing will always be true, our children will always be the vessel of our love. My son turned 11 today, and this milestone brought me back to when I first conceived him. His conception was a miracle of sorts but children will always be a miracle, right? 11 years back I took my first pregnancy test which proved negative, then again the next month which proved the same. I was beginning to feel frustrated and went to the doctor to have myself tested again, and to my dismay it still turned out the same. 3 months without my monthly visitor, I was beginning to think if it was too late for me to have another. After a few weeks I went back to the doctor to have myself undergo ultrasound, and to my husband's and my surprise, the doctor saw a sac. A 2 month-old sac, I was advised that it may or may not develop into a fetus. Eventually it did! I may never understand what happened in between but I will always be thankful that the sac turned out to be the son that I am able to embrace, talk to, cry with, laugh with.

Now my son is 11 and I will always be proud of him and proudest that I am his mother! Happy Birthday my son, you know how Mommy loves you to the moon and back.