My mind's been wandering aimlessly for quite a while. I know deep down that this is something bound to happen. Like a quiet river that grows into a waterfall. I cannot think. I need to be in my solitude. I hope I can find myself again because I know I am lost. A lost sheep. The black one.
In my mind, I am still that child...wanting to be accepted...hurting with each and every rejection. Constantly feeling that my wholeness is in acceptance and forgiveness...of not being judged...in that absolute consciousness of being loved.
I am still that child...asking myself what I can do in my littlest way to be a source of joy not frustration...not disappointment. I am still that child trying to fit in my role as a mother. I thought I have picked up the pieces but being human makes me vulnerable to such feelings.
I know this is just temporary and that I soon will triumph such weakness. But for now let me dwell in my solitude while I find myself again...
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