Of surprise birthdays, family, and everything unspoken

My mother celebrated her Platinum Jubilee this year and we are just so elated that she has reached another milestone! After 6 heart attacks, she is still in full swing and just celebrating life the way it should be. She had 3 celebrations, 1 done in our family home, the other a surprised visit from my aunt (her only sister), and the most recent, another surprise birthday party spearheaded by her youngest brother who is currently abroad. Boy! Was she happy to have been in the midst of relatives! Needless to say, her most recent celebration is not only to celebrate her birthday but a celebration of family, forgiveness, reconciliation. 

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” 
― Mahatma Gandhi, All Men are Brothers: Autobiographical Reflections

When forgiveness is real in the hearts of the giver and the receiver, then there is real peace. I would like to thank my cousins, my nieces and nephews, my aunts and uncles for coming! 

I'll never stop dreaming that one day we can be a real family, together, all of us laughing and talking, loving and understanding, not looking at the past but only to the future.

LaToya Jackson

Indira Gandhi, once said that "Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave", I am glad to be in the midst of people with like minds. Because family is everything! And that should always matter! So let me share with you something I came across online...

DECIDE TO FORGIVE

Decide to forgive

For resentment is negative

Resentment is poisonous

Resentment diminishes and devours the self.

Be the first to forgive,

To smile and to take the first step,

And you will see happiness bloom

On the face of your human brother or sister.

Be always the first

Do not wait for others to forgive

For by forgiving

You become the master of fate

The fashioner of life

The doer of miracles.

To forgive is the highest

Most beautiful form of love.

In return you will receive

Untold peace and happiness. Here is the program for achieving a truly forgiving heart:

Sunday: Forgive yourself.

Monday: Forgive your family.

Tuesday: Forgive your friends and associates.

Wednesday: Forgive across economic lines within your own nation.

Thursday: Forgive across cultural lines within your own nation.

Friday: Forgive across political lines within your own nation.

Saturday: Forgive other nations.

Today she decides to wear a dress and fix her hair

My daughter, I guess, woke up on the right side of the bed. I was surprised to see her on the eve of her birthday in a dress and wearing a clip on her hair. I was so happy yet did not want to spoil the moment by joshing her about it. You see, my daughter and I are very much alike in a lot of things. The way our mind works is pitch-perfect! Her sense of humor, her spontaneity, her bursts of emotions, oh and I'd like to think that her artistic skills and singing voice came from me too (though her dad is so sure that those came from him). When I was her age, I never liked wearing floral dresses, for me wearing a shirt and a pair of jeans is always fine. And she is very much like me in that area. But today! Boy! Her dad and I were both pleasantly surprised! I guess our little lady is finally growing up! 

Now that you are (secret) years old, I want you to make this moment and the days and years to come the very best of your life! Put into good use the talents that the Lord has given you. You were given those talents for a greater purpose, use them wisely!

Happy Happy Birthday Ally! May you grow in grace! May you always be happy! May I be able to contribute only good memories into your childhood. And if there ever are some of them that were not so good, forgive me but always remember that today and tomorrow are here for us to be able to change bad memories into good ones. I love you darling baby girl!

Happy Father's day!

Many years ago I rendered a song in front of my father's colleagues and office friends on his retirement party. I sang "Wind beneath my wings", befitting for the very first man in my life who showered me and my siblings with love!

Quoting part of the song, 

"Did you ever know that you're my hero,

and everything I would like to be?

I can fly higher than an eagle,

'cause you are the wind beneath my wings."

Indeed you were our hero Papa...you still are!  You will always be our hero and now that we have kids of our own, am sure they see you as we do! 

Happy father's day Paps! We love you and every little piece of you that is in us! 

http://youtu.be/M912EcPDrKM

Motherhood...behind the curtains

“Mothers are all slightly insane.” - J.D. Salinger

borrowed photo

No one ever said that being a mother is easy because we are, after all human, before we are mothers. We laugh, we cry, we get angry, we get crazy, silly, and whatnot. We can be at our strongest or at our weakest where our family is concerned. And crazy as a mad hatter when our husband become as helpless as our kids. We are not only a mother to our kids but become mothers to our husband and other family members as well. 

" telling me to be happy: "Henry, smile! why don't you ever smile?"

and then she would smile, to show me how, and 

it was the saddest smile I ever saw” - Charles Bukovski

No one will ever notice our silent cry for help, nor notice the sadness in our eyes. No one will ever ask how our day went, or how we feel, or what we want to do over the weekend, surprises will be a thing in the past. But we will often hear them complain about their food, where their stuff are, why they have to help do the chores, why they can't go places when their friends are able to. 

"Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did - that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that - a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.” - Debra Ginsberg

 No one will ever be able to read the mind of a mother unless it's a daughter who has seen the same pain, or a son who wants to protect his mother, or a husband who would put his wife on a pedestal above everybody else. A mother's heart is so complex that it could reach through every child's joy and pain, through their triumphs and failures, through their laughter and tears, through life's confusion and everything in between. And so it is true, the only time we can understand our mother is when we become mothers ourselves.

“In the book Soldiers on the Home Front,

 I was greatly struck by the fact that

 in childbirth alone, women commonly suffer more pain, 

illness and misery than any war hero ever does. 

And what's her reward for enduring all that pain? 

She gets pushed aside when she's disfigured by birth, 

her children soon leave, hear beauty is gone. 

Women, who struggle and suffer pain to ensure the continuation of the human race, 

make much tougher and more courageous soldiers 

than all those big-mouthed freedom-fighting heroes put together.” - Anne Frank

No one can ever understand what goes through the mind of a mother but it will definitely take children who have gone the same road and a very supportive husband to stand as her pillar all throughout her journey as mothers to their kids.

borrowed photo

3b0f9e80599eb71b8f72563e75178684467a57d235929647aa

Happy Birthday Alloy!

No matter how tall they get, no matter the age, our children will always be our children. Every birthday celebrated is a badge of honor on our shoulders. And one thing will always be true, our children will always be the vessel of our love. My son turned 11 today, and this milestone brought me back to when I first conceived him. His conception was a miracle of sorts but children will always be a miracle, right? 11 years back I took my first pregnancy test which proved negative, then again the next month which proved the same. I was beginning to feel frustrated and went to the doctor to have myself tested again, and to my dismay it still turned out the same. 3 months without my monthly visitor, I was beginning to think if it was too late for me to have another. After a few weeks I went back to the doctor to have myself undergo ultrasound, and to my husband's and my surprise, the doctor saw a sac. A 2 month-old sac, I was advised that it may or may not develop into a fetus. Eventually it did! I may never understand what happened in between but I will always be thankful that the sac turned out to be the son that I am able to embrace, talk to, cry with, laugh with.

Now my son is 11 and I will always be proud of him and proudest that I am his mother! Happy Birthday my son, you know how Mommy loves you to the moon and back.

Celebrating love with you❤

This is how I will always envision our future together. Strong, bonded, filled with love. 

My Papa and Mama

Year after year we celebrate our marriage and joyfully so. Always looking forward to more years together. Even our children complain of our being too cheezey. And yet, even then, I know how much they love seeing us in our own state of euphoria. We have built a house filled with love my husband, and I pray that it will always be this way.  

I remember our first year together, how we struggled and how we both stood on our own. You were determined to prove to my parents that you were the one for me. It is always good to look back from our beginnings. When we'd often scrimp and try to save and fail with the little that we have. How we'd often joke about having a car and pretend to look for it in the parking lot of SM. How we'd dream about owning a house with a big yard and a theatre/media room, a big kitchen, a library, and an office space. We may not have everything yet....but having each other is still and always will be the highlight of our lives.

We've gone a long way from the time we started dating and am just thankful that we have always chosen to change for the better. How our love has always remained strong...and how we have always chosen to stay in love this way with each other.

I love you so much my husband...you know I will always do...right up to the moon and back....to eternity and beyond....

Happy Anniversary to us! May our Lord grant us more years together, more love, good health, and happiness throughout our married life...

The hungry Pinoy

This is my perennial quagmire, starting a blog and gradually relegating myself to something I am more passionate about. But this is not why I am blogging again. I know that my blogs will probably come in either heaps or come in trickles. All I know is that I will definitely blog about something that has either moved me so much or something I feel so strongly for or against.

Coming home from a short drive, I decided to just buy lunch. I saw one of our building security guards waiting for his turn to buy food at the kiosk. When he finally was attended to, he bought a cup of rice and ask for a bowl of soup. While waiting for my change I saw him begin eating his fare without any other viand. My heart sank. I felt terrible being able to buy when the person who guards our building night and day, which may even stretch into very long hours, is not even able to eat a decent meal. Of course in my mind I cursed the slugs in our government. I cursed the government parasites who feed on the Filipino people. While they are able to wine and dine at best restos. While they are able to give grand parties for their kids. Or go jet-setting. Majority of the Filipino people don't have enough to eat. Don't they even know that more than a million Filipino families live on such a minimal daily budget? Don't they realise how many are in need of medical attention? Don't they even see the rising number of children who are unable to get a decent education? I guess not. Because all they see in the Filipino people are opportunities for their own growth. For amassing wealth that was never theirs in the first place!

The word Garapal comes to mind and then I slowly realise why there is even such a word. "Gara" probably is the shortened derivative from the word "Garapata" (tick), while "pal" from the word "kapal" (thick/thick-skinned). In other words, our government is filled with Thick-skinned, blood sucking public servants. Shame on you! I am frustrated. Government or Private offices would not have to treat their employees this way if only those who we elected stand to be model employees that everyone would emulate.

But if this can't be done, then I say, we should do our darnedest to inspire the government to do good! Rather than wait for the next President and hope he does better, we should educate everyone to give dignity to every single action, to every single thought, to every single word, and to every single decision that we are to make.

"Inspiring scenes of people taking the future of their countries into their own hands will ignite greater demands for good governance and political reform elsewhere in the world, including in Asia and in Africa." William Hague