The start of my "own" New Year

January 1, 2012 for me is a memory that I'd rather forget. While everybody was blowing their New Year horns, I was blowing my nose. Hence, I am starting my New Year this 1st of March ~ in this way, it will be a new beginning for me. I have lamented enough. I went through the phase of coping with feelings of shame, self-pity, anger, self-reproach, and have begun questioning my life purpose. Such feelings led me to be lethargic, I went deeper into my shell. For awhile I became an introvert...not wanting to see or talk to well meaning friends. I deactivated my FB, and bombarded my twitter account with quotes that were similar to how I felt. Whenever we went out to buy a few stuff in the nearby store, I always felt nauseous and badly wanted to go back home. Home and my bed were my only solace...the only place I felt safe. I went through the whole nine yards!

It was pretty bad for me. But it was my daughter who suffered most from my pathetic state. I was like a zombie going through my daily routine without a thought. And when triggered???, I was really piqued!  It was tough to hide what I was going through from my husband (of course). But all throughout, my loving husband held my hand and was able to convince me to spill the beans. I was not really comfortable sharing my thoughts with him, most especially after all he's witnessed on that particular New year morning. You see. I've always tried my darnedest to be perfect for the love of my life. He deserves only the best part of me. So, for him to hear and see stuff, was for me, very disquieting.

But I've pondered and wondered and that's over and gone. All through such a trying time, I only had my rosary and my husband's hands to hold. Then the afterglow...this gave me a glimpse of life's perfection. More things to look forward to. A loving family...a responsible, faithful, wonderful and caring husband by my side...wonderful children...they are my reason to live. The past should not hold me. And to quote part of the message sent to me by my youngest sister ~ "...never let anyone put a price tag on you. Only YOU can. Only YOU should. Not even families are given such a right. Or even more correct. ONLY GOD CAN put a price tag on you -- being the giver of our life, being our Creator who made us in His image..."

I will always be thankful to have come from a family with both parents present from day 1, with crazy but loving sisters. In this life, no one, not even families are perfect but we learn. We learn from how we were treated as individuals and use such experience to be a better person...a better wife...a better mother.

I've listed down my objectives for this year:

1. Continue praying. Teach my children how to pray from the heart.

2. Love my husband even more.

3. Stay fit.

4. Spread happiness and positivity by smiliing more, loving more and not sweating the small stuff.

(I've actually posted a sign outside our door that says: "Smile! Bawal sa loob ng bahay ang nakasimangot!" in English, "Smile! Frowning inside the house is prohibited")

5. Encourage more. Complain less. 

6. Be fair and forgiving.

7. Be patient.

8. Be humble.

9. No name calling. No comparing. Avoid demeaning. (Children will always remember what you think of them)

10. Be an inspiration to my family and to other people.

I'm not perfect, I know. But my God is. He will be my constant inspiration to be better.

"The most sacred place dwells within our heart, where dreams are born and secrets sleep, a mystical refuge of darkness and light, fear and conquest, adventure and discovery, challenge and transformation. Our heart speaks for our soul every moment while we are alive. Listen... as the whispering beat repeats: be...gin, be...gin, be...gin. It's really that simple. Just begin... again." ~ Royce Addington ~

New Year with Donny & Marie

I woke up New Year's morning with a song in my head from Donny and Marie Osmond's show back in the...never mind... hahaha  I just so love that song which they always rendered before they say goodnight to their audience and televiewers. Let me share with you the lyrics and a video I found on You Tube :)

May tomorrow be a perfect day

May you find love and laughter along the way

May God keep you in His tender care

Till He brings us together again.

May the sun shine deep within your heart

When sorrows bring sadness and tears would start

May the memory of the love we share

Reassure you that someday, somewhere.

We'll walk hand in hand, the time is very near

The moments we long for are almost here

I'll be with you, you'll be with me

Together we'll love once again.

Sigh...I can sing this song over and over and would never ever tire of it! 

New Year Menu

We all went to the grocery yesterday to buy the stuff that we need for tonights'  Media Noche. I expected not to cook much on the eve of New Year but my husband wanted something special to send the old year off. He requested me to cook Paella, and Chow Mein while the kids requested for fruit salad. We bought a quarter each of edam and blue cheese for the "mini" festive dinner.  And to complete the menu my husband also requested for gelatin which he volunteered to prepare that is if I successfully get him to wake up before I start getting busy in the kitchen :) Will make sure that I get pictures of our Media Noche dinner and post it as soon as I can. Happy New Year to everyone! May we all have Peace in our hearts!

2010...in Retrospect

picture borrowed from http://miipz.tumblr.com

If the Year 2009 has been kind to us...this year has proven even better! I say this because everything started with a simple dream and my husband is a mighty dreamer...once he does, he puts them into full fruition. My husband has taught me how to dream even against all odds.  When he left for Saudi Arabia more than a year ago, it was a sacrifice that we all needed to embrace in exchange for a better life. It was so hard for us to be apart as we have always done things as a family. Most weekends were spent home or somewhere else together. So when my husband went back to the Philippines for a vacation we began to dream again.  My husband and I would talk about this "dream" of ours even after he has gone back to Saudi after his month-long vacation. Then we began to plan and again everything else fell into place. 

Of course there were trials as well but not so much as the blessings that we received in return. And we have always been thankful for the trials that has made us stronger and every ordeal worth the wait. So as 2010 is about to end its course, our family would like to give thanks to having celebrated another year of the gift of life, of having new friends and the rekindling of friendship, of having our parents alive and well amidst adversities; and the greatest blessing of all...having one another...a husband and a soulmate, and children who surrounds us with laughter and so much love.

Our family acknowledges the greater force behind all these; as our Creator, only He holds the blueprint of our lives. There has not been a day that our family has not given thanks and we continue to thank God for the blessings, the trials and the miracles...

For 2011 my family and I pray for soldiers all over the world to finally be able to come home, for women to give their unborn child a chance to live, for broken families to reunite, for the rebuilding of severed friendships, for hearts to heal, for forgiveness, for sons and daughters to take care of their aging parents, for homeless and hungry children that they may know what it is like to have a home again and be able to eat three meals a day, for the hopeless that they may be able to rise above their hopelessness, for worldwide peace. For our family...the Lord knows what's inside our hearts...once again we entrust our life to Him...His plans will be ours  and His path will be the road that we will continue to traverse.

Happy New Year to everyone! May 2011 bring us new beginnings and whatever our heart desires! And may we also work hard for a better and peaceful life this coming new year!