Unconditional Love heals all wounds

My "Tweet" sister

"when we were little playing hide and seek, you always knew where to find me. i haven't changed my hiding place. i am just here ♥" ~ tweet from my sister

In the midst of what I call my "emotional hibernation", my younger sister reminds me where I can find her should I need a pair of listening ears... I felt bad that she had to call me overseas. I did not wish to burden my family with the sort of phase I seem to be going through. Nevertheless it felt good to hear an assuring voice. I was glad she called. 

I know not everyone will understand my need to distance myself yet it is comforting to have friends and sisters who respect such imperative to fly solo. Sometimes it is best for private battles to be fought alone. I am assured however, long and murky the tunnel may be... at the end of this cumbersome passage ~ I will be reunited not only with the people I hold close to my heart but also with "myself". 

And now my heart silently sings to my Saviour...Psalm 32:7... only the Lord can refresh my soul...

Lonely Echoes...

My mind's been wandering aimlessly for quite a while. I know deep down that this is something bound to happen. Like a quiet river that grows into a waterfall. I cannot think. I need to be in my solitude. I hope I can find myself again because I know I am lost. A lost sheep. The black one. 

In my mind, I am still that child...wanting to be accepted...hurting with each and every rejection. Constantly feeling that my wholeness is in acceptance and forgiveness...of not being judged...in that absolute consciousness of being loved. 

I am still that child...asking myself what I can do in my littlest way to be a source of joy not frustration...not disappointment. I am still that child trying to fit in my role as a mother. I thought I have picked up the pieces but being human makes me vulnerable to such feelings.

I know this is just temporary and that I soon will triumph such weakness. But for now let me dwell in my solitude while I find myself again... 

Another candle to blow...

Yesterday marked another year of my life and I celebrated it with my husband and children. A month prior, I planned to invite a few friends but due to unforeseen circumstances,  had to cancel. So I opted for a simple one. I prepared Pasta ala Pesto il funghi and baked my own chocolate lava cake. I felt so happy being able to finally perfect the frosting which I've been trying to do so many times and failed. Truly everyday is a learning experience and am glad that I've never stopped trying!

I saw this birthday prayer and I'd like to share it with you as this is the same sentiments I hold in my heart

Birthday Prayer

Thank you, God, for giving me another year of life.
Thank you for all the people who remembered me today
by sending cards, and letters, gifts and good wishes.

Thank you for all the experience of this past year;
for times of success which will always be happy memories,
for times of failure which reminded me of my own weakness and of my need for You,
for times of joy when the sun was shining,
for times of sadness which drove me to You.

Forgive me
for the hours I wasted,
for the chances I failed to take,
for the opportunities I missed this past year.
Help me in the days ahead to make this the best year yet,
and through it to bring good credit to myself,
happiness and pride to my loved ones,
and joy to you. Amen.

Christmas Fever!

My husband and I planned our vacation for about 6 months, and when he finally booked our tickets 3 months prior we were all already very excited. Every month if we can, we would buy a couple of things to bring to the Philippines. We were only able to fill our balikbayan box by the end of November. We had no savings as it was our first year as a family abroad but my my husband and I agreed to take the opportunity to go on vacation while our parents are still strong. (Remember November 2010 when my mom had her 5th heart attack and none of us can go back home that easily as we left the Philippines a month prior to her attack.)

Prior to our vacay, we planned to bring the kids to Enchanted Kingdom, take the whole family out to dinner, go bonding with my parents, watch a movie with the family and meet all our friends during our 3-week stay in our beloved country. I even planned to go to Baclaran and attend the Wednesday masses and at the same time buy stuff that my kids would be needing for school. All those plans were for naught... 2 days after we arrived, we found ourselves at Casa Medica for various reasons. My kids and I were suffering from terrible cough and colds while my son Alloy had high grade fever. My husband I were up most of the time to make sure that Alloy's fever went down. His fever which was supposed to last for 3-4 days went on and on till it for about a week. By the 30th of December which was our Family reunion, I was feverish myself and the next day, my youngest son was feverish too! I found myself postponing or cancelling scheduled meeting with friends. Most of our cash just went to doctors' PF and medicines. Then 2 days prior to our scheduled flight back to KSA, my daughter and husband got sick. 

Of course we will always be thankful for the time that we were able to spend Christmas and New Year with  family but it would have been better if we were all "fever-free". I have a lot more to share but for now I'd have to park this as there are just a lot of stuff that I need to clear out. Though it may be terribly late I would like to greet each and everyone a Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!

"Walking the distance"

My youngest son needed 20 pieces of popsicle sticks for one of his subjects in school. And since it was a couple of days before month end, we had to hold on to every single halala until my husband gets paid his salary. God is really good! He knew beforehand that something like this would happen so he made sure that I have a couple of orders to deliver which meant extra income that would allow us to stretch our budget. Bunso (a term of endearment for my youngest son) called his dad in the office and told him about his assignment. Hence, as soon as hubby arrived from work he asked me to go with him to buy them stuff.

Although we knew we can buy a pack of popsicle sticks in Al Samil bookstore (which is a one stop haven for arts and craft enthusiasts among other things), we put the thought of going there at the back of our mind. First because it was a bit far and we needed (tough not necessarily) a cab to get there which would displace our budget. So, off we went in search for the said sticks around the area. We went to this baqala (mini mart) near our place unfortunately, they didn't have what we were looking for. Hubby even suggested we buy 20 popsicles and just clean the sticks hahaha but I argued that they were too short. So, hubby and I weighed our options and I told him that I can walk it off from Thuqba to Ramaniya just to avoid spending 30 riyals for a back and forth ride. Al Khobar is such a small place and everything is both "walking distance" or a trip via cab. ("walking distance" meant it was "do-able" one way only lol) 

And walk we did, my husband and I joked our way to Ramaniya; was able to cross the streets and byways and arrived at Everything 10 in one piece! But we found no popsicle sticks there either,  we had to walk some more to Al Samil (our last resort) where we were able to find one (as I knew they would). And walked again to buy a couple of grocery items from Al Ramah. By the time we were done purchasing our week-long supply, our feet were really really tired and all we wanted was to reach home, take a warm bath and sleep.

Am actually used to walking long stretches of roads but it does help to have the right walking shoes. I was wearing ordinary sneakers which was a bit hard on my sole after one of the longest "strolls" I've ever managed to accomplish.

I came across this photo on the net and I can just imagine how our feet felt like yesterday after that long and tiring traipse down to the heart of Al Khobar.

Siomai? Oh my!

About a month ago my husband and I went to this Asian store in downtown Al Khobar to look for dumpling wrappers as hubby wanted me to add Chinese dumplings in my growing menu for our food biz. It was there that I was able to buy glass noodles for my Chapchae among several small grocery items that we are unable to find in the local groceries. They also have the same brand of glass noodles that I use back home for my food business but it's more expensive here. 18 riyals for the same pack that I buy back home for only about 130 pesos. It was such great news though that the store did stock on dumpling wrappers, but I was dismayed by its cost. My husband told me to just buy it with my eyes closed rather than waste our trip. But I said that I'd just feel guilty buying the said item when I can buy more stuff with the 25 riyals I will be paying  for a single pack of dumpling wrapper. In the Philippines I can buy more or less 10 packs for the same price, it was too much for me! I do understand however, that the reason this is so, is because it's basically an imported item. And no one really makes it locally as dumplings are not part of their staple food. Unlike back home where such food is already part of our culture as influenced by our Chinese ancestors.

I tried using the long rectangular wrapper that they use locally, sorry but at the moment I am unable to recall what it is called. I used it for my Chinese dumpling however, it failed to stick closely to the chicken meat but it was okay. Guilt-free rather than using the 25 riyal dumpling wrapper, this was a close alternative; 10 riyals for about 50 sheets if am not mistaken, is reasonable enough.

Oh for those who are new in Al Khobar so that you'd know, the Asian store is located at the corner of 8th street opposite Corniche. It's along the same row as Al Ramaniyah (farther down) and very near the chain of restaurants in that area.