Friday, March 30, 2012

Of FB, fries and coke floats among other things

FB has made reuniting possible, like most of us, I will always be thankful that a Mark Zuckerberg came up with this brilliant idea! I was a friendster fan before anything else but it was not good enough for me. And I guess during that time Friendster, seemed to be.... well, more friendly? For awhile my FB profile picture was that of Angel Locsin's and I gained FB friends because of her sexy picture. :)  

That is FB's bright side, the other side of the coin is that if someone wants to block you then whatever you do, you won't be able to get into the nitty gritty detail of the person you'd like to connect with. But am fine with that. Because there are people you don't really feel comf'table with to be part of your fb friends.  But this article is not about FB ~ it's about friends...friends I've lost and friends I've found. Six years ago (same age as my youngest son), I lost a very special friend. Hard to forget that, since my son is a reminder of that particular friendship-gone-awry. It was a misunderstanding that no one really understands (sounds redundant right?).  I guess she feels that I've betrayed her. Two sides of the coin, I feel she blamed me for her loss.

How does one feel when a friend is lost? It feels as if a limb has been cut off from your body... Feels like that last piece of Fries you were just about to dunk into your large Coke float. Honestly, losing a friend sucks! But it's not the fact of losing one that does, what sucks more is the reason why you've lost that friend. I've never really lost a friend before and if I had, it was not because of anything else except probably distance, transferring to another place or what have you (until about 6 years ago). I felt terrible. Terrible for her and terrible for me and my friends. Again 2 sides of the coin. Like "friends fries" and "coke bloats". I'm not going into any of the sordid details though. The fact of the matter is that, it is done and over with. My 3 other friends and I who used to complete our circle are no longer welcome. We've been deleted. Everything else has gone kaput! Finito! But as I've told her she may have closed her doors on us, but we've left our windows wide open. She's said her "Adieu" to which my reply was "Au Revoir." And as I keep saying distance should never matter, time spent should never matter. Reuniting after such a long time, your tune should remain the same, true friendship should endure. One cannot put a price tag on friendship, we cannot blame them for not being there for us. We cannot count the times we have been put down by our friends. Whatever we do in life is our choice. Near or far, our friends are only there to support or contradict us. But at the end of the day, we make our own choices. If you have not been honest to your friends, how in hell can you expect your friends to understand what you are going through, what you've been through, and what you continue to go through?  "Friendship must never be buried under the weight of misunderstanding" ~ Sri Chinmoy ~  I still believe that God would not have wanted friendships to end this way. Which is why, my understanding of friendship is something that I have never enclosed in a box chock-full of expectations.

"We all lose friends...we lose them in death, to distance, and over time. But even though they may be lost, hope is not. The key is to keep them in your heart, and when the time is right, you can pick up the friendship right where you left off. Even the lost find their way home when you leave the light on."        ~ Amy Marie Walz ~ 

In the meantime, this year amidst some personal setbacks, have turned out well for people like me who have been meaning to reunite. Ten years ago was the last time I saw one of my dearest male friends. I've spent years searching for him online, which has proven futile since he's not a fan of the computer age. The time we spent together during my vacation was short but sweet. Again, knowing that a long lost friend is fine is the best news always. The ten year gap in between was not a deterrent to our friendship. Life must go on. The years in between each absence should not count. What should always matter is we've remained the best of friends all through our life's ups and downs. I've reunited with more friends since...  this time through FB. Indeed, technology has brought more meaning to friendships ~ long lost, now found.

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